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What to do. Sigh.

What to do. Sigh.

At the end of November, a big event is coming up in our community and only a few people from our circle received invitations to attend. We were not one of them. We're okay with that. Totally.

However, a person extremely involved with the event was stressing out about all the details and I offered to be hands and feet if any errands needed to be ran to help things go more smoothly.

So a few days have gone by and someone else involved with the event contacted me and asked if I could take care of an issue on the day of the event and I said that I would be happy to. And then. And then she told me that in exchange for my services we could attend the event "after all".....Um, no thank you? She insists. Now I will feel rude if I don't, but, really? Never mind that getting an invite was not my motivation for offering to help, it just seems totally tacky to say "your not invited to this special event - oh but now we owe you so, come after all."

I am obviously being vague, here. I shouldn't even be posting at all but I just couldn't keep it in. I do not want to go to this event - I'll put it out of my mind for the holiday and pray about it. Blegh.

This post was edited on Nov 22, 2017 04:45 PM

re: What to do. Sigh.

What is the time frame you are taking care of something on the date of?
If it does not require you to be there for the entire duration of the event, (maybe.. errands or set up beforehand ??), then keep your word and help (even though you might be kicking yourself now for offering).
Thank them for the inviting you (kill with kindness, and be polite but firm). Tell them you are able to help from X to Y time for ___ as we discussed, but I have other commitments for that day, so I am unable to stay for the event.Should another event come up down the road, maybe I can take your offer up then to attend? (Stick to your timeframe and scoot out for your other commitments... a couch date with your husband, a nap, board game with the kids, a homemade dinner, etc).

re: What to do. Sigh.

Why would you feel rude not going? The way they even asked you was rude, IMO. They should be thankful you are helping, and you shouldn't feel obligated to attend just because they threw you a guilt invitation. If you WANT to go, go, if not, don't stress about it.

re: What to do. Sigh.

Stick to your original plan, which is moderate and wise and keeps you true to yourself. ("This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow...thou canst not then be false to any man."-- Laertes' father Polonius' sage advice in "Hamlet.")

:o)

And no, there is nothing wrong with not going. No matter how she "insists," you can just as graciously and firmly maintain that your schedule that day only allows the preparations and help you'll be providing, and you're not able to actually attend.

re: What to do. Sigh.

Agree with everyone. Graciously decline if that's what you know is right.

re: What to do. Sigh.

I agree with the others, do as you have planned. You will feel better about yourself. Be kind to them but stick to your plan.

re: What to do. Sigh.

My vote, too. Ditto.

re: What to do. Sigh.

Just because you're invited to something, doesn't mean you have to go. Simply do what you agreed to do and thank them for the invite. Don't let them guilt you into going. (Just because they feel guilty . . . )

Enjoy your day!

K

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