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anyone send a child back to public school?

anyone send a child back to public school?

we are currently thinking of send our oldest dd back to public school. Christian school is not easily feasible considering the financial cost. The main reason we are thinking of sending her back is because she is struggling socially. She is very withdrawn around other kids, thinks they are being mean if they don't come to her, and mainly hangs by adults. The only reason I'm concerned about this is because I'm worried that she won't communicate with people unless she feels comfortable, and that can make adult life less than ideal. Please no bashing, I'm really struggling with this. My reasons for keeping her home are purely selfish, I never want to see her hurt and I just don't want to see her leave. Any encouraging advice is welcomed.
Thanks!

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

My oldest daughter who is now 21 was the same way....we did send her to school for a very short time (for other reasons) and it was a nightmare...bullying etc...so we brought her back home. If I could do it over, I never would have sent her, and you know what? She is a beautiful young woman now who is great socially. I mean, who says they need to hang around with kids thier own age? Aren't we trying to raise them to be adults anyways? She can learn from adults much better than she can from a bunch of public school kids. I mean, my daughter never really cared to hang out with others, and was comforatable with who she was/is. She is a different sort of person and has never fit in, but she is ok with that...I would much rather her be this way than wanting to "fit in" or please others.

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

Have you discussed the idea of public school with your dd?

I would and make sure she is fully ok and aware of the change she is walking into...I feel every parent has to make the best choice for their kids, in the end its your full choice as what to do...

Maybe you could set up a time to tour the school she would be going to with her so she could get a feel for the place too...

I will keep you in prayers, I hope you find a good balance here!

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

As we are in our first year of homeschooling I can't give advice however; I am very familiar with other homeschool families from our church and Christian school (some of the kids took a couple of classes like band but were homeschooled otherwise). One family in particular said that the reason they sent their children to school K-6th grade was purely for the social aspect. They felt strongly that those years were vital for kids to learn how to socialize and deal with other people. He told our family that often times homeschool kids can get isolated and they tend to struggle with socializing. This particular family homeschooled 7th-12th grade and their children participated in sports at our school during those homeschool years.

I think it is a valid concern.

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

Well I know its a tough decision. You don't mention how old your daughter is, but I also had similar concerns for my very serious, very shy daughter and struggled every year to decide whether homeschool might not be the best choice for her. I still don't know what she might have been like if we had sent her---maybe more gregarious and less intense, maybe more inward and anxious--its hard to tell. Anyway, what we did do was find more group activities as well as sports drama and other things to boost her confidence and at 10 she is MUCH more social than she was when she was younger. However, she is still the quiet, serious type who is happy with a few friends and doesn't need a crowd--that is just her personality. If you do send your daughter, I would be curious to know how it turns out for her. Hopefully, it will be a positive experience.---

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

They're are LOTS of shy, withdrawn kids at public school. Being shy and withdrawn could just be her personality and NOT be because she is homeschooled.
In fact, those kind of kids don't usualy thrive in public school for that very reason. They just aren't social people.

Just something to think about.

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

As a previous ps teacher for eight years, I agree with the pp about ps NOT being a cure for shyness. I had plenty of shy and quiet students. Some seemed to cope well. Others pulled further into seclusion. If you have a heart to continue to hs her, I would suggest that you look for outside activities in which she could participate that would allow her to interact with other children for a short period of time. My dc are involved in hs gym and hs choir. My dd does ballet, and my ds is in baseball.

This story may encourage you. My friend has been hsing her dd, who is now 15, from the beginning. This child was always VERY shy, quiet, and withdrawn from other children. She just preferred to play alone and hang out with Mom. Her parents were getting worried that she would stay within her shell and struggle out in the world. However, they believed strongly in the benefits of hsing and felt those benefits outweighed this concern. Fast forward to today. This young woman is really coming out of her shell. She has several great friends. She invites girls to come to church youth meetings. She speaks comfortably with adults and children. She does Irish dance and performed a solo this year! She just needed time to mature. She didn't need to be pushed into a situation she wasn't ready to handle. She is a beautiful, well-rounded, lovely young woman.
hth,
Laura

re: anyone send a child back to public school?

truthwalker said it very well. I was that child. My dd is very outgoing, but I wonder if she would not have been more like me if she went to public school. I still struggle, at 48, with being shy in social situations; and I went to public school all the way through. If anything, my shyness got exponentially worse as the years went by in public school. As far as my education, I made good grades, A's even. However, I don't think I retained all that much.

I would evaluate all of your reasons for wanting to homeschool, then put them up against your list of reasons for sending her to public school. If homeschooling wins, perhaps you could find some organized group activities so she would have "social" opportunities with her same age peer group.

My observations whilst my dd was in Girl Scouts (Daisies and Brownies) was that those type of groups are not always good for a person's self-esteem. It was all about the "popular" girl and who got to sit by her, and who got to be in whose "girl" club. It was about the latest clothing (should 6 year-old girls wear clothing that looks like the current teen trends?) and who had a cell phone. Yikes! Social situations like that aren't exactly what I want for my dd. BTW, we live in a great area, and the public schools are 5 star schools, so we are talking about the "best" kids...yeah.

ETA: and, yes, I sent 2 of my boys to public school after private school and one year of homeschooling them. The youngest took a couple of years to adjust, but he is doing fine now. He is the most reserved of my 3 boys. I do think the social situation with boys in public school is a bit different than with girls, though.

This post was edited on Nov 03, 2011 08:23 PM

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